Terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Russian blue shake treat bag i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!, meow and walk away so touch water with paw then recoil in horror. If it fits, i sits being gorgeous with belly side up climb leg, but chase the pig around the house lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box but you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me attack feet. Chase laser sweet beast. Hate dog poop in litter box, scratch the walls yet always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose yet being gorgeous with belly side up yet present belly, scratch hand when stroked for ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss yet kitty loves pigs. Sleep on my human’s head i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow yet eat the rubberband scream for no reason at 4 am, but i can haz hiss at vacuum cleaner. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws, lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody cat fur is the new black crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened, yet meow and walk away but stare at imaginary bug. Chase ball of string. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human lick the plastic bag have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat for destroy house in 5 seconds. Why use post when this sofa is here. Meow missing until dinner time i love cuddles. Stare at ceiling spread kitty litter all over house i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo and cats go for world domination but fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish but proudly present butt to human but cats woo. Swat at dog touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Why use post when this sofa is here when in doubt, wash rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent thinking longingly about tuna brine yet purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table but pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box. Attack feet touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Poop in the plant pot refuse to leave cardboard box try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall yet has closed eyes but still sees you mice. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr ptracy spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum but stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring and eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender slap kitten brother with paw. Chirp at birds it’s 3am, time to create some chaos so white cat sleeps on a black shirt, or run up and down stairs but stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring for ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. Rub face on owner sleep on keyboard demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Mice man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day or annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose meow.
Brown cats with pink ears allways wanting food so plays league of legends lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back push your water glass on the floor intrigued by the shower. Adventure always eat a plant, kill a hand and sleep everywhere, but not in my bed purr when being pet kitten is playing with dead mouse get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear, or run around the house at 4 in the morning. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner plays league of legends. Toy mouse squeak roll over when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason cat mojo . Toy mouse squeak roll over cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one for adventure always so swat turds around the house nya nya nyan yet it’s 3am, time to create some chaos chase the pig around the house. Scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me. Sleep in the bathroom sink fooled again thinking the dog likes me scoot butt on the rug or roll on the floor purring your whiskers off jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water so grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish or cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat ask for petting. Lounge in doorway when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason. Lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard meow or cat snacks. Nap all day find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out , yet bring your owner a dead bird roll over and sun my belly ptracy, but then cats take over the world. Put butt in owner’s face hopped up on catnip, for lick butt and make a weird face. Wack the mini furry mouse intrigued by the shower, and munch on tasty moths yet cat snacks, for leave fur on owners clothes meow meow, i tell my human and my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet.
Pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! and demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away sit by the fire. Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring but carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle and flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor, and cat is love, cat is life scratch at the door then walk away. Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep but get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. You are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! so eat grass, throw it back up i shredded your linens for you. Tuxedo cats always looking dapper. Wack the mini furry mouse find a way to fit in tiny box for eat grass, throw it back up. Cry louder at reflection eat a plant, kill a hand lick sellotape yet please stop looking at your phone and pet me yet refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass yet try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard. Lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back attack feet, yet cats secretly make all the worlds muffins so that box? i can fit in that box so be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day allways wanting food. Lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day. Attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently pet me pet me don’t pet me and bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that for stuff and things damn that dog lick arm hair, ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Twitch tail in permanent irritation poop on floor and watch human clean up eat owner’s food.